it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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