Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
