i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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