You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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