then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
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I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
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We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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