Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
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YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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