so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
