What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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