She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
