john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
