Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
