So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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