So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
this will be a night to untag.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
