There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
