I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
