There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
it was like having sex with a tree stump
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Randomize
