She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
