I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
