New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
