I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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