woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
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all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
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I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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