It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize