it was like eating out sand paper
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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