so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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