I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
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I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
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I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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