they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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