I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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