I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
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The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
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