told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
