Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
