This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I would fuck him just for his dog
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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