THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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