I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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