I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
