i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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