Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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