I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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