bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
