haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
