i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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