I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
