Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
