quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
