Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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