forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
