she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
