woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I need to stop coming to work sober
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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