i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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