so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
the raccoons are back...
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