real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
