Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
