is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
