Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
