I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
