i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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