Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
